Purity
by Cel Sopiro
Summary: Shadow finds hope from a child after an attempted suicide.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog or any of the characters in the franchise._

* * *

A sea of blue.

Lungs filling with water.

Choking.

I stare clear above me, the surface far away. I think of all the reasons that drove me to this moment.

Her death.

My pain.

This never ending nightmare.

I begin to cry, my tears fading around me.

* * *

A splash diving in.

I glance hazily at it, my vision fading before me.

A small object approaching.

A pressure on my arm, pulling me upwards.

I wish for it to stop.

Yet I am too weak to resist.

* * *

I spat, coughing, the air forcing its way in me again.

I look at my side, my savior sitting beside me. A child rabbit, cream and orange in color. She glistened from the water, glowing like an angel. She glanced over me in concern.

"…are you okay, Mr. Shadow?"

I sighed, looking back down. What am I supposed to say? That I tried to drown myself?

I bite my lip. No, I can't. An innocent child like her should never face such a thing.

"I'm fine…"

I breathe slowly again, my soul restored with life. I close my eyes. What luck, to fail from committing a sin.

"What happened?"

 _Pain._

I clench my fists in despair.

 _Anger._

My eyes filled with tears again.

 _Hate._

I cried, losing control again, my pain reigning over. I can't do anything but weep.

"Mr. Shadow…?"

I feel a soft hand being gently placed on my back.

* * *

 _Curse you, rabbit._

My eyes shot open.

 _You returned this pain in me._

I slowly turn to face her. She looks at me in fear, discerning my intent.

 _This is all your fault._

My pain turned to rage.

I slowly reached out to her. She scuttles back quickly, her eyes filled with terror. I breathed heavily, thirsty for her blood.

She tried to run away. The trees faded beside me, the bushes blurring away. She trips over a log, yelling in pain. She turns around to stare at me, a prey helpless to its predator.

I loomed over her body, showing her my teeth. One word chanted ceaselessly within me.

 _Kill…_

Yes.

 _Kill._

Yes!

 _KILL!_

I raise my fist to strike.

She screams.

* * *

My entire body froze. A strong sensation erupts from my heart, preventing me from striking. She echoed constantly inside of me.

 _Please…_

I can see her walking up to me, radiant with her beauty. She stood directly in front of me, staring into my eyes. She places her hands on my cheeks and smiles.

"Give them a chance to be happy."

* * *

 _No._

 _I won't let you._

 _I won't let you sin._

A strong phenomenon drains my energy.

My vision turns dark.

My body goes limp.

I fall to the ground, weak from exhaustion.

A soft muttering. A careful shaking.

Slowly falling asleep.

* * *

"Mr. Shadow?"

I grunt, slowly opening my eyes. A room pure in white. I turn my head to the side.

"How are you feeling?"

I stare in confusion. A tall rabbit, wearing a lavender dress.

"Where am I...?"

A peek. I quickly turn to face it. The same rabbit hiding behind the door. She gasps and quickly ducks in cover.

"Cream said you fell into the river and couldn't swim back up. She found you unconscious and brought you to my house."

I slowly shook my head. That's not what happened at all. But…

I look over to the door again. There she was again, looking at me with concern. My expression lightens.

 _Could she have brought me here, after everything?_

"You're free to stay here until you recover. If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask."

I look at the mother, gently smiling towards me.

"Thank you."

She nods and turns to leave.

* * *

I thought about going to her room.

I wanted to apologize.

But how do you apologize to a person you nearly killed?

I stayed in the bed for a while before making up my mind.

* * *

I slowly opened the door. There she was, playing with her toys. She turns around to look, her expression filled with joy. It slowly faded away once she recognized me. I sighed.

"Hey Cream."

She looks back at her toys, slowly nudging them.

"Hi Mr. Shadow."

I slowly walk up and sit beside her, crossing my legs. I didn't want to talk about it.

"What are you playing with?"

"Just some toys…"

I sighed. Smalltalk. Avoiding responsibility. I take in a deep breath.

"Look, Cream…"

She turns her head and looks at me.

"About what happened…"

I take in a moment before exhaling.

"…I'm sorry. You didn't need to bring me here, not after what I've done."

I look down in humility. A moment passes before she speaks again.

"What happened?"

I bite my lip, shutting my eyes. I didn't want to tell her, but I felt like there was no escape from it.

* * *

"A long time ago…I lost a person very special to me."

My chest slowly tightens.

"I couldn't bear knowing that there was nothing I could do to save her."

My lungs felt restricted.

"And…I just wanted to forget it all."

Another moment passes, my soul helplessly ridden with guilt.

She scoots over and hugs me. I gasp in surprise.

"It's not your fault."

* * *

 _I wish._

 _I wish I had your purity._

 _I wish I had the kindness that's in your heart._

 _How do you do it?_

 _How do you keep spreading love, even to a tormented soul?_

I smiled, feeling happy. For so long I've dreamt of this feeling, a pure sense within me. I didn't want death. I didn't want vengeance. I wanted to spread this love that she persistently held within her. I hugged her back, my soul free from agony.

"Thank you."

I wanted to live.


End file.
